


Bill Cipher's Blog (Archive of 3dbillcipher.tumblr.com)

by katikacreations



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Fanart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 11:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16872309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katikacreations/pseuds/katikacreations
Summary: I'M JUST YOUR AVERAGE MULTI-DIMENSIONAL NEAR-OMNISCIENT POLYGON TRYING TO LIVE AND LET LIVE IN THIS CRAZY 3D MEATSPACE. THIS IS MY BLOG. MY AGENT TELLS ME TRYING TO END THE WORLD IS BAD FOR MY CAREER! WHO KNEW???





	1. ABOUT THE BLOG, AUTHOR'S NOTES

 

This blog is an experiment in writing and producing sequential, storytelling multimedia art using puppetry, writing, photography and video. I’m a pretty chilled out person so don’t hesitate to message me with any questions or concerns! It’s a sideblog of [Srsartistkat](http://www.katikacreations.tumblr.com/), but my actual artwork can be followed at [Katika Creations.](http://www.katikacreations.tumblr.com/) I decided to start archiving the blog contents (the good stuff, anyway) over here in case Tumblr failed. Anyway, there's a lot of content to copy over, so this will be a WIP for awhile.

**THE STORY SO FAR:**

  * This Bill was originally mortal, and comes from an alternate dimension similar to Flatland.
  * In an alternate dimension, Gravity Falls it is a real thing that happened to Bill and the Pines family in 2012.
  * _Our_  world is an alternate dimension to the Gravity Falls world, but we can see Bill’s antics (and he’s aware of ours) because the internet is trans-dimensional.
  * Regular people in Bill’s dimension are not necessarily aware of the multiple dimensions, the cartoon show, etc. Bill is aware of all of it, and sometimes breaks the 4th wall.


  * It’s post-Weirdmageddon. Bill Cipher was defeated by the Pines family and sealed in a stone prison.
  * #Cipherhunt only happened in our universe, not in the Gravity Falls universe.
  * Alex Hirsch paid his debt to Bill by performing a ritual to free Bill from his stone prison in the Gravity Falls universe.
  * The Cipher statue in our universe is “fake”, something Alex had constructed as a prop to make the #Cipherhunt ritual happen.
  * Both the replica statue in our universe and Bill’s actual body in his universe lost their hats to vandalism.
  * Both Ariel Hirsch and Mabel Pines, in their separate universes, felt pity for the hatless Bill statue, and made him a new hat to replace it. 
  * Bill was freed in 2016 from his stone prison.


  * Ariel and Mabel’s gift was so unexpected and so genuine that Bill’s heart grew three sizes that day. Once he was free he decided to lay low and work on other things instead of trying to destroy the multiverse.
  * He is trying to avoid all members of the Pines family.


  * His Agent is a mysterious supernatural creature with old ties to Bill. They are possessing a meatsuit in our world that [happens to belong to the creator of all this nonsense :)](http://www.katikacreations.tumblr.com/)
  * The Agent travels freely between the Gravity Falls universe and ours as needed.  
  * The Agent made Bill create a blog to talk to his audience in our dimension.
  * Bill wants to improve his public image and reputation to improve his status in our universe.



 


	2. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First chunk of blog posts.

**WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL, WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?**

 

FIRST I GET DRAGGED ALL AROUND A CONVENTION FULL OF ANIME-LOVING NERDS AND THEN MY AGENT MAKES ME START BLOGGING? PASS ME SOME FASHIONABLE THICK-RIMMED GLASSES AND A BEANIE BECAUSE I SURE FEEL LIKE SOME KIND OF HIPSTER RIGHT ABOUT NOW. THE NAME’S BILL CIPHER, YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING YOU LIKE, BUT IF I ANSWER (I’M A BUSY TRIANGLE, I DON’T HAVE TIME TO PAY ATTENTION TO EVERY LITTLE PRAYER I GET), YOU’LL OWE ME A FAVOR AT SOME LATER POINT IN TIME - WE’LL WORK OUT THE DETAILS WHEN I FIGURE OUT WHAT I WANT FROM YOU, DON’T WORRY YOUR CUTE LITTLE MORTAL HEADS ABOUT IT TOO MUCH! LIFE’S TOO SHORT TO SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF, AM I RIGHT?

* * *

 

_[trichat](http://trichat.tumblr.com/) asked:_

 

_Oh! Most intriguing... I don't think I've seen a dimensional version of you in /this/ dimension before, and goodness -- you look stunning! Multiple thumbs up from this side of the multiverse~_

HEH, WELL THANK YOU, I DO HAVE TO AGREE THAT I’M QUITE THE LOOKER IN ANY DIMENSION, BUT WHEN I POPPED OUT IN ALL OF MY FLESHY GLORY HERE, I DID FEEL LIKE I WAS PARTICULARLY RADIANT, EVEN COMPARED TO SOME OTHER PLACES I’VE EXISTED! 

…SAY, WAIT A SECOND, YOU SEEM  _A LITTLE TOO COMPLIMENTARY_ , I DON’T BUY IT, WHAT’S YOUR ANGLE, HUH? 

WELL, ASIDE FROM THOSE THREE POINTY ONES YOU’VE GOT THERE! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

GET IT, BECAUSE SHE’S A — _TRIANGLE_ –THESE ARE THE JOKES, FOLKS, THIS IS WHERE YOU LAUGH, C’MON, WORK WITH ME HERE…

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS CROWD, JUST A SEA OF GRAY FACES IN SUNGLASSES WATCHING IN SILENCE, LIKE THEIR SOULS HAVE ALL BEEN SUCKED OUT. REMINDS ME OF THE COMPANY CHRISTMAS PARTY WHILE I WAS WORKING FOR THE-COMPANY-THAT-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED-BUT-STARTS-WITH-A-DIS-AND-ENDS-WITH-A-NEY.

ANYWAY NICE TO MEET YOU TOOTS, THE NAME’S BILL CIPHER, BUT LOOKING AT YOUR BLOG, YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT! SO, A RADIO SHOW, HUH? HOW’D TWO CRAZY POLYGONS LIKE OTHER-ME AND WHOEVER YOU ARE END UP DOING THAT? 

MY ENEMIES USED TO TELL ME I’VE HAD A FACE JUST MADE FOR RADIO! COME TO THINK OF IT, THAT PROBABLY WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE A COMPLIMENT, HAH! GOOD THING I ALREADY USED THEIR INTESTINES AS FESTIVE HOLIDAY GARLANDS, WAY BACK WHEN!

IS IT THURSDAY? IT’S THURSDAY! I SHOULD DO A #THROWBACKTHURSDAY AND FIND PICTURES–

MY AGENT IS GESTICULATING WILDLY AT ME FROM THEIR KENNEL, BRB.

OK MY AGENT SAYS I’M NOT ALLOWED TO POST PHOTOS FROM THE NIGHTMARE REALM ON HERE WHICH I THINK IS TOTALLY LAME AND BORING BUT  _WHATEVER_. APPARENTLY KIDS TODAY AREN’T INTO ENTRAILS ANYMORE!!

HUMANS USED TO  _LOVE_ ENTRAILS! THEY WERE ALWAYS PULLING THEM OUT OF ANIMALS AND LOOKING AT THEM, PRETENDING THEY COULD SEE THE FUTURE! OR THEY WERE PUTTING THEM IN COLORFUL JARS AND ARRANGING EVERYTHING—THEY MADE UP ALL KINDS OF WACKY RULES ABOUT WHAT ORDER THEY COULD GO IN, WHICH GOD GOT WHICH ONE, IT WAS NUTS!

BUT NOOOO, APPARENTLY HUMANS ARE TOO GOOD FOR ENTRAILS NOW!

* * *

 

_[toriyashaposts](http://toriyashaposts.tumblr.com/post/138973448508):_

> _Yall see this picture right? One of things i want to know before gravity falls ends is what was bills motivation to take this picture it has been bothering me i dont know why but it has. Out of all the poses he could do he fucking picks this pose.why did he take it in this pose i dont know why but i really wanna know_  

I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS QUESTION, MEATSACK! WHY WOULDN’T I POSE LIKE THIS??? WHAT’S WRONG WITH MY BEAR RUG FIREPLACE PHOTO? I THINK IT’S VERY TASTEFUL! I PUT THAT ON MY CHRISTMAS CARDS LAST YEAR!

I MEAN… JUST LOOK AT ME. THOSE 60 DEGREE ANGLES! THAT GLISTENING GOLDEN EXOSKELETON! THOSE LUSCIOUS LASHES! THAT CERTAIN  _JE NE SAIS QUOI!_  I’M GORGEOUS!

I NEVER DID GET TO REVEAL PHASE 2 OF WEIRDMAGEDDON, Y’KNOW! I GUESS IT’S ABOUT TIME…

HUMANITY WAS GONNA BE GIFTED WITH THESE BABIES, OH YEAH!!!

AND Y’KNOW, I’M A PRETTY GENEROUS GUY, SO THE OFFER STILL STANDS! YOUR REWARD FOR ACCEPTING THE COLD HARD TRUTH OF REALITY’S INDIFFERENCE TOWARDS YOU, AND MY EXISTENCE AS SUPREME BEING BY PROCESS OF ELIMINATION, IS A SWEET ICON OF YOURS TRULY TO WORSHIP AT YOUR CONVENIENCE!

* * *

 

_[toriyashaposts](http://toriyashaposts.tumblr.com/post/138973448508):_   
_#[omg](http://toriyashaposts.tumblr.com/tagged/omg) #[how did u findthis](http://toriyashaposts.tumblr.com/tagged/how-did-u-findthis) #[omg i cant stop smiling and laughing #iforgot i made thatpost](http://toriyashaposts.tumblr.com/tagged/omg-i-cant-stop-smiling-and-laughing--iforgot-i-made-thatpost) #[bill is fabulous aa always](http://toriyashaposts.tumblr.com/tagged/bill-is-fabulous-aa-always)_

__

THAT’S A LITTLE BIT OF A SILLY QUESTION DON’T YOU THINK??? HOW DO YOU  _THINK_ I FOUND YOUR POST, KID?

HOW DO

YOU THINK

I FOUND

YOUR POST?

…

……

………

I USED  **GOOGLE** , OBVIOUSLY!

 

ACTUALLY THAT’S A LIE, IT JUST HAPPENED TO COME UP ON MY DASHBOARD BECAUSE SOMEBODY I FOLLOW REBLOGGED YOU! SMALL WORLD AIN’T IT? JUST REMEMBER, I’M ALWAYS WATCHING YOU, [@toriyashaposts](https://tmblr.co/mIifgDQcc7g7dCY5Fvs_-pw)!

 

 


End file.
